Personal Development

Book Review: The 5 Seconds Rule by Mel Robbins

I have finished reading the book. I made many notes, highlights from my Kindle. They are all available in My Notes On Goodreads. I am practicing the habit of reviewing my notes right after I finish reading. While reading the notes, I can recall my memories and connect the content in the book. I just realized that I have something in my head. I also know that I want to write them down.

Writing down the thoughts is not an easy task. However, the book has taught me a secret – the courage to do things. You guess it. By counting down 5-4-3-2-1 DO.

I, actually, do not do a book review at all. I chose that title because I have not found any word to replace. Reviewing a book is a big deal. I am not going to do that. Instead, I want to focus my energy on writing what I have learned from the book. I want to write the good part that the book conveys and wants to give to the reader. Others might have different views. They might see the opposite side of the book. I do not look for what is not good. I focus on what is good, on what is in it for me, on what I can take away and apply to my life.

The idea in the book is ridiculously simple. Everyone has 5 seconds to convert from intent to action. By counting down, yes counting down – not up, 5-4-3-2-1 DO.

The moment you have an instinct to act on a goal you must 5-4-3-2-1 and physically move or your brain will stop you.

In my word, move your ass. Nothing happens unless you move your ass. You must move physically.

A normal, but famous, example is getting up early. “Early” means you wake up at the time you want to get up before you go to sleep. For example, many people want to get up at 6:00 AM to do exercise. Every evening, while on the bed, they tell themselves that they will wake up at 6:00 AM in the morning. When the clock alarms, a hidden voice tells you

  1. Hey, you went to bed late last night
  2. Hey, it is cold out there
  3. Hey, com’on it is weekend
  4. Hey, just stay here for 5 minutes
  5. ……

The result? You wake up at 8:00 AM. And the cycle repeats.

The book tells you a simple, but powerful, tip to overcome that habit by counting down: 5-4-3-2-1 UP (use the word that you like most). Right after reaching “1”, out of bed.

I think many people will laugh at that tip and think that it will not work. Sure, it will not work if you think it will not work. Here is the simple fact

  1. If you give it a try, you get 50% success, 50% failure
  2. If you do NOT try, you get 100% failure

 

Another interesting thing I found from the book is the explanation of “procrastination”

For a long time, everyone believed procrastination meant poor time management skills, a lack of willpower, or lack of self-discipline. Boy, were we wrong. Procrastination is not a form of laziness at all. It’s a coping mechanism for stress.

And

Dr. Pychyl has found that the main thing driving procrastination is not avoiding work. It’s avoiding stress. Procrastination is “a subconscious desire to feel good right now” so you can feel a little stress relief.

And that is because of our default behavior of our brain

We are amazing at fooling ourselves into staying exactly where we are.

Th human being is afraid of changes. Our brain is designed to protect us, to keep us safe. It builds a self-defense mechanism.

As I mentioned in Chapter One, change requires you to do things that are uncertain, scary, or new. Your brain, by design, will not let you do such things.

That’s why we love sitting on Sofa, watching a TV show, a movie. The Sofa makes us feel comfortable and safe.

As I read through the book, I thought of many real examples I have been and I have seen. Kind of fun when you reflect on your life. You should try it.

 

Another thing I learned from the book is how people make decisions. It turns out

According to neuroscientist Antonio Damasio, it’s our feelings that decide for us 95% of the time. You feel before you think. You feel before you act. As Damasio puts it, human beings are “feeling machines that think” not “thinking machines that feel.” And that’s how you ultimately make decisions—based on how you feel.

You Make Decisions Based On How You Feel

 

I would suggest people read the book. I have started applying what I have learned in it. If I want to do something or get something done, or whatsoever I want to do, I would choose this

5-4-3-2-1 MOVE-YOUR-ASS!

Broke, Stupid and Sick

One of the major key to move on, to get better every day is self-motivation. You cannot hide in your room, lock the door, and wait for someone to knock the door and motivate you. It simply does not work that way.

I am a big fan of Mr. Jim Rohn. In one of his recorded seminar, he said

Being broke is bad; hmm and stupid. But the worst is being broke, stupid and sick.

A man cannot use the same motivation all the time. He needs many, depending on the time and place.

This morning, I woke up at 5:00 am and started my traing as normal. Problem? I wanted to stay in bed. Even when I got to the gym, I did not want to start. Because the weather was so nice, cool wind, fresh air.

I suddenly remembered that quote. I tried to take advantages of it. I used it to give me good reasons to start the training as planned.

I Work Hard

Because I do not want to end up as a broke. I am not sure that I want to be rich. But definitely I do not want to be broke.

I Study A Lot

Because I do not want to be stupid. I do not have to be another Einstein. But definitely not a fool, not a stupid man.

I Train Hard

Because I do not want to be sick. When we are sick, nothing matters. The only wish is getting better, again. Without heath, we are useless.

The 3 Broke, Stupid and Sick – BSS

VS

The 3 Work, Study and Train – WST

By writing them down gives me a clear picture of options. I must choose one of them. Hey I am not stupid. I have chosen the second one WST to keep me away from BSS.
It works for me. It might work for you.

Have a good day!

Knowledge and Skill “I Know vs I’ve Done”

Recently I watched a wonderful course on Pluralsight. It made me reflect again on my personal thought about Knowledge and Skill. For the past 2 years, besides my coding job, I have had the pleasure to interview and hire resources for my company. I have met many talented people. They know a lot of stuff. Some have many certifications. They are good. They have spent their time on getting them, taken exams, … No one can deny that fact.

In the context of working as a developer, tester, I mean building software, you are paid to do something. You are paid to bring your knowledge into practice, to use knowledge to produce something. You are paid for your Skill.

Skill is not built from what you know. Skill is built from what you have done. You gain skills by doing things. Of course, you must know things first. That is obvious, right?

Hey, but why do we care about differentiating between Knowledge and Skill? It might trigger a self-reflection of where we are, what value we bring to the marketplace. For me, It helps me tremendously. It forces me to think no matter where I am, I need to gain more skills, bring more value.

Let take an example of a web developer using ASP.NET MVC as their main tool for building web applications. He has 3 years experienced, counted since the first time he worked on an MVC project. Let’s examine what he knows and what he has done.

Knowledge – He Knows

By googling, reading some articles, reading some books about ASP.NET MVC framework, he gains a certain knowledge about

  1. What ASP.NET MVC is
  2. How to start an MVC project
  3. There are Controllers, Actions, Attributes, Routing, …
  4. Support Dependency Injection
  5. …
  6. That MVC is a cool framework.

He knows a lot. When asked, he can cite from his reading. He even can compare MVC with other frameworks.

In the information age, you can gain knowledge quite easy. There are millions of materials out there, with both free and paid ones. If you want to know something, ask Google.

My friends, nowadays knowledge is free.

There are areas where people will pay for your knowledge (just make sure you have a solid one). However, a vast majority of developers is working in companies, writing code, producing software. Knowledge cannot produce software. Skill does.

Skill – He Has Done

In the interview, I usually ask what you have done precisely in the last 3 years. Which parts of the MVC framework that you have practiced most?

The answer I have received most is “I work on the business logic part. MVC has done everything else for me.” A very honest, correct answer! And many developers have done the same thing.

Given the Knowledge part, he knows ASP.NET MVC. However, he have not done any of these

  1. Code outside of a Controller – Action. Not create any custom attribute.
  2. Not knowing how to handle database transaction in an MVC application.
  3. Playing around with custom routing.
  4. Handling security
  5. …

The list goes on.

The point is that he does not seem to have any ASP.NET MVC skill. How much value is he in the MVC field? As an employer, I think NOT much. There are so many developers know about ASP.NET MVC. But a few actually is able to use it. What the market needs are ones who can use it, not just know it.

 

Knowledge is unless it is used to solve problems. People are paid to solve problems. The takeaway key from differentiating Knowledge and Skill is we should be well aware of the illusion of knowing things. We have to gain more knowledge every day. At the same time, we have to find a way to improve our skills. They have to be in synced.

Next time, if you come to your boss and ask for raise, bring your skill list. Do not tell him what you know. Tell him what you have done and can do.

I am happy that I, now, have a clear thought about different between Knowledge and Skill, the importance of each. I am also glad that I have started my quest to skill with my Reload 2017.

Mind, Body and Spirit

The only thing in this universe that we have control over is ourselves. Speaking another way, we have the full power on ourselves. For things to change you have to change yourselves, people said.

Yeah! I know I have full power on me. I have to change me (I wrote me on purpose). But, what exactly should I change/improve/focus on? How do I get started? To get started, we need more concrete detail than a general statement.

I am pretty sure that many people have heard about that statement. However, they have not still made any progress on their life. Why? Maybe, yes just maybe, they have not had a clear idea of what it means, what they should start with. Therefore, they might choose to know and let it go as any other events in life.

Since I have started a new journey of Personal Development (sometimes I called it Personal Excellent) some years ago (around 3 years). I have read books about the topic, applied and experienced in my daily life. I have made a good progress. Which encourages me to try more, experience more and as a result, share more. Sharing is a part of Personal Development.

A human being has 3 parts: Spirit, Mind and Body. They are all equally important. Do not neglect any.

I am sure there are books talking in detail about them. However, I choose to explain them in the way it makes sense to me; in the way I understand them.

Spirit

It is our mental assets. Everyone has their own relationships. We have parents, children, spouse, friends, coworkers, classmates, … Some people have plenty of good ones. Whereas some have a few or none.

To leave a good life, we have to built up our mental assets. As any other asset, mental asset can come and go if we do not build/protect it. I have a few suggestions

  1. Assert your current relationships. Simply write them down will make a huge impact on your thinking. Not believe me? Try it.
  2. Priority the relationships that you value most.
  3. Focus on improving them. Sometimes a phone call might help.

There are things that make us feel better such as favorite songs, movies, …

It is our attitude on life. Some looks at life with an anger eye. For some people, everything is so annoying. They hate everything. They have a pessimistic opinion. But, there are people who see life joyful. Every event is a gift, no matter how bad it is.

You do not have to cheer for a sad event. You do not have to cry for a good event, either. Develop yourself to have the right attitude on each event.

Same event, different reactions, choice is yours.

Mind

It is our intelligent assets. It is our knowledge, our skills. Unfortunately, many people that I knew, spoke to do not care much about this (Yeah, maybe I have not met enough people).

My favorite question that I usually ask myself is “what have I learned since the last year?“. In any job interview, I asked candidate the same question. Sometimes, I felt one year was too short, I asked them: what have you learned since graduated from the university?. Not many said it fluently.

What have I learned since the last year?

Are you dare to ask yourselves that question?

You should have a plan for your mind. Otherwise, you will stay behind. We are leaving in a fast changing age. The information is on over the internet.

Some might say “I do not have time and money to learn.”

Oh really! Are you sure?

Body

It is our health (not the body building part 😛 ). It is not the good looking appearance (of course if it is good, then perfect). With the fast growing of internet, mobile devices, IoT, everyone seems too busy.

“I do not have time to exercise“, they claimed. If a 70 years old, laying on the bed (or hospital) says it, I believe.

We can build up our Spirit, improve our Mind anytime. But we cannot do the same with Body. The body has time constraint. Therefore, you cannot delay it for tomorrow. If you delay it too long, you will reach “I do not have time” soon. In other word, it is too late.

Suggestion? Yes. Do whatever it takes to build a habit of improving your Body (the health) NOW. Keyword is NOW.

 

Everyone is unique. Each has their own life, their own way of living. If we choose to think that we are victims of circumstances, then we have no power to improve. But if we choose to think that a human being has 3 parts Spirit, Mind and Body; and we have full power on them, that we can control and improve them; we will make a huge difference on our life. In fact, circumstance is the result of our actions. You reap what you sow.

Spirit, Mind and Body! I hope the post will give your some ideas to think over the weekend and get you started if you choose to. Once you choose to do it, you will find out how to do easily.

Have a nice weekend!

Personal Hack: Write Your Value

Write down your value in a white paper! And from that moment, you will work as if you deserve to have that value.

Money does not mean Value. However, for the economic sake, most of us are working for a living. And we could not live without money. Unless you are at the higher course, I assume Money (income) is Value.

The value I am saying here is your rate per hour. No matter what, where you are working, in the end you can calculate how much you get per hour.

In this post, I want to share

  1. How to calculate your current rate?
  2. Why do we have to write down our value?

To make the system work, both you and I must have some kind of faith.

If you do not, that is ok. You can enjoy the reading or simply stop reading 🙂

I believe it works. That’s why I wrote this page. And later I shared this tip with my team. Now I share it with you.

Calculate Your Rate

The formula is simple

Your Rate = (Total Income in a year)/ (Total working hours in a year)

If you have a habit of tracking your income, your working hours (usually freelancers have). You can easily come up with your rate. Or you have already known your rate (you get paid by your customers).

However, if your salary is monthly basic, and your working schedule follows 9-5 pattern, the formula is

Your Rate = (Salary * 12 + (bonuses))/(40*52)

And The Number?

The number depends totally on you. You make that call. If you still do not know, let take (Current Rate) * (1.5-2). The most important part is you have to write a number. At the end of the journey, what important is not the number, it is the process, the progress that the number triggered.

The Why

Because the number gives you a clear picture, a clear image of the person you want to become.

Because it gives you a clear goal. Think about people who make this wish every year: I wish to have a lot of money. Wow, what do you mean “a lot”?

Because it changes the way you look at yourself. Therefore change the way you look at the world.

Because it helps you ask better questions.

The How

You have to track your total income and working hours every month. An excel spreadsheet should be enough to track.

Whenever you go to work or do something, constantly repeat your value (whispering in your head).

For every problem, you have to solve, ask this question

What a guy with {your number} value will do?

That question will trigger a whole new process inside you. What process is it? I do not know. It depends on who you currently are. However, I know that it will bring you to a new level. The key here is repetition. Do not quit at the first time you ask the question.

I am a Software Developer. I will take an example in my field.

You are responsible for solving a bug.

Depending on the process of your organization, however, I would assume these are steps that should be done

  1. Reproduce the bug with unit test if possible
  2. Fix the issue
  3. Write unit test to verify your fix.
  4. Manual testing

I know there might be more to get a bug done.

Here are some facts I observed

  • A few will follow 4 steps
  • Some will do steps #2 and #4.
  • Some will do steps #2 and #3.
  • ….

Question is, who will you be? What will you do as you are now? Then you can practice asking the question.

What if you know what that guy will do, but you decide to drop some steps?

I hope your inner voice will speak: Hey! That is not what that guy will do.

 

As I said in the beginning, I applied this hack (tip). And I believe it will work. I do not know where it will bring me to. But I do know that I will become a better person in this progress. Since I started, it has given me a lot of courage (writing this post is a big courage). It has helped me shape the way I think when I deal with problems.

I rather give it a go than sit in a corner and do nothing. Right now I am thinking of the moment when I write another post to share the process and the result.